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How do I not hyperfixate

shadow99

By shadow99
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shadow99

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I just recently got my diagnosis & its completely destroyed me. Im so scared & disgusted with my self. I dont know how to just go about my days right now, im crying at some point in the days every day. I hate myself even more. My partner is sooo unbelievably supportive & i just want to learn to live with this & not let it control me. 

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7 hours ago, shadow99 said:

I just recently got my diagnosis & its completely destroyed me. Im so scared & disgusted with my self. I dont know how to just go about my days right now, im crying at some point in the days every day. I hate myself even more. My partner is sooo unbelievably supportive & i just want to learn to live with this & not let it control me. 

Hi "Shadow99".... I'm very sorry you got bad news related to this virus.  It's normal to feel frightened and even disgusted with yourself at this stage.  It's great that you have a very supportive partner - many do not.  There is no reason to hate yourself about contracting a virus - maybe you did something that you now regret but, to beat yourself up over contracting a virus is not doing anything to start your process of adapting and getting your life back on track.  I assure you, having the virus does not have to change your future nor does it mean you are a "bad" person in anyway.  

How did you receive your diagnosis?  Did you have symptoms first that caused you to seek medical testing?  What were the symptoms?  What type of testing was done and what were the results?

I promise you it gets better with each passing day.... remind yourself it is simply an innocuous virus - in no way life-threatening - that millions of people also have.  Again, it does not need to alter who you are nor change your future that has all the same hopes and joys you had before being diagnosed.  One day at a time for now.... and no beating yourself up about this.  Please let us know if you have questions or just want to vent.

take care.

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I had what seemed like a reaction to what i thought was a pad, i was trying a new brand & had worked a waitressing position, raised somewhat like a diaper rash would be & maybe 3 days later it cleared up, i called my ob we talked she checked this out down there & didnt see anything i had shown her a few pictures i took since it was going to be at least 2 weeks before I could get seen. She looked over pictures had a concern for it asked if i wanted the blood antibody test i agreed & my levels igg level of 7.15..... i really did luck out on having someone so supportive & it hurts even more because I feel he deserves better 

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3 hours ago, shadow99 said:

I had what seemed like a reaction to what i thought was a pad, i was trying a new brand & had worked a waitressing position, raised somewhat like a diaper rash would be & maybe 3 days later it cleared up, i called my ob we talked she checked this out down there & didnt see anything i had shown her a few pictures i took since it was going to be at least 2 weeks before I could get seen. She looked over pictures had a concern for it asked if i wanted the blood antibody test i agreed & my levels igg level of 7.15..... i really did luck out on having someone so supportive & it hurts even more because I feel he deserves better 

so, did you get separate results for HSV1 and HSV2?  I'm sometimes skeptical regarding what people see and what their test results prove.   If you don't mind me asking more questions.... if the area of concern was more of a "rash" were there any fluid-filled sores, particularly in a cluster?  Were they painful and did this make it difficult to urinate due to pain?  Did this rash clear up in just 3 days?  Also, it sounds as though the doctor only saw some photos but, she never had the chance to look at your rash, correct?    How long ago was this?  Was the IgG test done within a couple of weeks of seeing the rash?  Did your doctor actually make the diagnosis of genital herpes (GHSV2)?

Apologies for all the questions but, again, you've mentioned a few things that beg more questions about your diagnosis.  If you could provide a little more information, it will help to sort things out.... I would hate for you to be so upset over what might actually be just a reaction to the pad, or a yeast infection or some type of bacterial infection that can be treated.  

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I dont mind the questions i need help understanding this & everything about it. It was separate results for 1 & 2, i noticed the rash like 10/30, there were maybe 3 spots in the one picture i have on like day 2 where it did kinda look like they may have been fluid sores looking but didnt seem painful or hurt to pee, it was kinda just there a little itchy & then went away. It was the 15th of november when they did the blood test. She did only see what i could show in the pictures & see checked things out down there that day as well & didnt see anything of concern. I did start the antiviral daily. 

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13 hours ago, shadow99 said:

I dont mind the questions i need help understanding this & everything about it. It was separate results for 1 & 2, i noticed the rash like 10/30, there were maybe 3 spots in the one picture i have on like day 2 where it did kinda look like they may have been fluid sores looking but didnt seem painful or hurt to pee, it was kinda just there a little itchy & then went away. It was the 15th of november when they did the blood test. She did only see what i could show in the pictures & see checked things out down there that day as well & didnt see anything of concern. I did start the antiviral daily. 

what was the result for HSV1?  What was result for HSV2?  You mentioned a result of 7.15.... was that for HSV1 or HSV2?

Taking an IgG test only 2 weeks after you noticed "rash" is far too soon..... an IgG antibody test for HSV requires at least 12 weeks after possible infection to be remotely accurate.... you have to build up antibodies to the virus (assuming you are infected) before they will show up on the test and this requires about 12 weeks minimum.  Unless you were exposed months or years ago, the test at 2 weeks is of no real value.

the fact you had no pain and urination was painless also makes me question what was happening here.  I'm not yet convinced you have genital herpes.... I assume since your doctor gave  you a daily antiviral (is it valacyclovir?) then she must somehow be convinced you have HSV in your genital area.... this is either because you are positive for HSV2 or she was basing it on photos (seems very odd).  

Have you ever had an outbreak/rash like this before?  Has your partner been checked?  I'm guessing he has no symptoms?  

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Hsv 1 showed neg the 7.15 is for hsv 2....ive had a concern in the back of my mind but when something would happen id panic spiral a few days researching & talk myself down. She only is speculating off the pictures & the test. I have a feeling deep down this is something ive been with for a long time, with these results things i can remember back to kinda make sense. My husband has not had any issues & we've been together unprotected for 6 years now 

It is the valtrex

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8 hours ago, shadow99 said:

Hsv 1 showed neg the 7.15 is for hsv 2....ive had a concern in the back of my mind but when something would happen id panic spiral a few days researching & talk myself down. She only is speculating off the pictures & the test. I have a feeling deep down this is something ive been with for a long time, with these results things i can remember back to kinda make sense. My husband has not had any issues & we've been together unprotected for 6 years now 

It is the valtrex

thanks for the clarification.... yes, a result of 7.15 for HSV2 means you in fact have been exposed to HSV2 at some point in your life.... if you believe you were actually infected many years back, then the recent result is accurate.  Valtrex is very helpful for most people.  It helps not only suppress outbreaks but, substantially lowers the risk of passing the virus along to your partner.  

I hope you are doing alright and adapting to the news..... again, it's not a serious medical issue and it sounds like you are only rarely having to deal with outbreaks.... which the valtrex will help with now.  Also, the fact your husband has had no signs of the virus, is a good thing here.... you can continue to live your lives as before and no need to really worry about the virus going forward.   Take care....

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Thank you for the help. Im still trying to mentally adapt to this its gonna be a work in progress. Im just hyper aware of things now so its like any little sensation & my brain goes into hyper mode & just trying to breath & come to terms with 

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8 hours ago, shadow99 said:

Thank you for the help. Im still trying to mentally adapt to this its gonna be a work in progress. Im just hyper aware of things now so its like any little sensation & my brain goes into hyper mode & just trying to breath & come to terms with 

just a little advice here.... as you stated, you are "hyper aware" of things now and you are super sensitive to every little sensation down there.... many of us know that feeling all too well.  Be careful not to let this hyper awareness start to lead you into thinking every little itch or twinge must be the start of an outbreak.... most the time it isn't.  Many people start to actually see and believe something is happening when, in fact, nothing is occurring.  This then starts a nasty cycle of continuously checking and worrying yourself endlessly to the point where you are so stressed out you activate another outbreak (stress as you probably know is a major trigger).  It will get better with time as you learn that every little twinge is nothing of concern.   It's all manageable overall and need not interfere with your daily living and overall peace of mind.  

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On 11/25/2023 at 10:16 PM, shadow99 said:

Can a break out be just 1 single white bump?! 

technically, yes.... although it's more common to have a cluster of fluid-filled sores.... if it's just a single solid "bump" it's not likely herpes-related.  

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