Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0

Outbreaks after sex?

1 post in this topic

Hi I am new to this forum, but happy to have found a place where others know what I'm going through, how I might feel. I've been diagnosed w/ HSV for 5 years. My first outbreak was very mild, and over the years have thought I've had an outbreak here or there, but because they are mild, am never quite sure.

I was devastated when I got diagnosed, felt dirty & ashamed, and unlovable. God blessed me with the most loving husband.. he helps makes me feel normal, attractive, loveable. He is HSV free.

Most times I seem to get an outbreak is after sex, particulary when I'm not lubricated enough (sorry if TMI). Recently I got a lesion that looked like a vertical line, almost like a tear in my skin not a lesion. Everytime this happens, it feels like being newly diagnosed all over again... feelings of shame, dirtiness, and feeling as though my husband deserves better..

Can anyone else please share their experiences with what their outbreaks appear as.. how you feel.. how you handle this...

Thank you for your time & helping me through the rough times.. .

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0

  • Latest Buzz

    • Blahdittilyblah
      Your outbreaks may lessen over time everyone is different. I have only had one in the 3 months of having this bastard and hope to keep it that way. But over time supposedly the OB are less as far as shedding the virus I don't think it gets lesss over time and if it does you never know when it sheds so there isn't a way to really tell if your putting someone at risk just always assume that you may be putting someone at risk if you decide to have sex with them protected or not 
    • Blahdittilyblah
      Calm down and try to relax. Your life is not over it's not ruined it is changed however. Your not going to die from this it could be much worse you could have cancer one of the many forms that ravage your body. You could have AIDS and be ready to die. You could be paralyzed and never walk again, blind and not see, deaf and not hear there are many worse off situations then this. Yes it seems disgusting and horrible and at times I too feel this way but if it wasn't something that could transmit to others would you care as much? I know that it does but remove that factor would it bother you so much probably not there are people far worse off then you in life be great fuk that if anything super shity is happening to you it's just herpes and not something that gives you a date of your passing seriously it'll be ok just take time to adjust and learn about this virus. Trust me I went through the freak out phase too not sucicidal but I def freaked out pretty good it's normal but I can assure you that you'll be fine. 
    • GKH
      Really? It is offensive and insulting for people who can't get a diagnosis to complain about severe pain, with reason to believe it's from herpes?!?  Wow, what a d-bag you are. And you can shove your fake "i'm offended" cry up your ass.  And stop pretending like this website requires a diagnosis or your approval prior to entry. Acting as if you're some sort of bouncer.
    • LiveLife100
      Hi @bye and welcome to this wonderful supportive group! I'm sorry that you find yourself here, but everything will be okay.  There are many possibilities about what might have happened. Most likely you were infected just prior to your 1st outbreak. It's possible he had this since long before you and is asymptotic with no knowledge of it. It isn't weird that it took a while for you to catch it as the virus isn't contagious all the time.  It's also possible that he did recently acquire it. Without symptoms to swab, the common test is the IgG blood test that tests for antibodies. If this is the test he got (if he got one) then testing negative for a recent infection is quite likely. After 16 weeks it's pretty reliable. Truth is you may never know and that's ok too.  Hugs
    • GKH
      If I did, it was by mistake
    • Sansa218
      Lol, you are right!  I just moved, am job hunting and other personal stuff that is probably way-oversharing...hadn't really factored all that in...
    • StayingUpbeat
      Having watched Dr. Halford's work for the better part of a decade, talked to him in person, and read his previous publications I think that option 2 very unlikely to be the case.  DBH has dedicated practically his entire academic career to advancing specifically his HSV ICP0-DeltaNLS vaccine.  There is a very realistic possibility that the initial Phase I results are an anomaly or don't contain enough rigor (i.e. placebo controlled viral shedding data) to deconflict actual improvement from placebo effect.  That is definitely my greatest fear with Halford's treatment.  Considering the fact, however, that the vaccine is looking to be pretty safe I would likely jump at the chance to give it a try.
    • WilsoInAus
      The tcell structure in the skin is disrupted. it seems once again that you've missed the point of the website. Your scaremongering is immature. You know full well that you are more likely to be injured even killed by a falling coconut that those adverse outcomes occurring over herpes. What is wrong with having cold sores or transmitting herpes? It is simply human and it's comments like yours that demonise a natural part of life. You also know that you can't be infected twice pragmatically, so stop inferring otherwise. You also are excluding the possibility  that having herpes may reduce the incidence of various diseases including immune disorders. All in all, there is nothing to practically fear from herpes, that's why we are here! To tell people their fears are misplaced.  If something is to feared, look out for falling coconuts! There is much more death and misery caused by coconuts than herpes.  Worse still, there is no correlation between having herpes and avoiding a falling coconut!
    • bye
      I'm a 20 year old female, and I have recently been diagnosed with the herpes virus (type 2) and I am more than certain I caught this off my partner, who I have also recently finished with.  We were together for about 3/4 months. Initially met in June but nothing happened between us until July. I didn't sleep with him straight away, we first slept together around early to mid August. He never wore a condom once and finished inside me every single time.  When we first started sleeping together, I developed a bladder infection after we'd slept together for the first couple of times, and it never quite cleared up. I went on holiday for a week at the end of September and I thought oh maybe this bladder infection will go because I'm not going to be sleeping with him for a week. It didn't clear up. It became less painful for a few days but it never went away. This is the part where I'm struggling now, because when I came back from my holiday, I spent a couple of days with him and we obviously slept together, then one day he stopped talking to me out the blue? I didn't know what was wrong and he was ignoring my calls and messages which began to put emotional stress on me. I immediately thought he had cheated on me whilst I was away, but he denies this of course. I would also like to clarify I did not do anything with anyone whilst I was on my holiday.  We tried to sort it out in the end after numerous arguments and then we slept together but it was different from how it was before. (this was about 2 weeks ago).  He was very aggressive with me to the point where it was hurting and not in a good way. He finished inside me like always and left it at that. Two days later he broke up with me again.  This was when the flare up started. We slept together on the Wednesday night (or early hours of Thursday morning) and my symptoms came about on the Saturday through to the following Wednesday when I went to the doctors. I was in pain down below on the Friday but I put it down to him being aggressive with me. On the Saturday I was struggling to walk without it hurting, and I got flu like symptoms. Didn't think much of it, but by the following Tuesday I knew something was seriously wrong.  I went to the doctors on the Wednesday and I was examined by the nurse and she took some swabs from me. After I explained what had recently happened with my partner and how nothing like this had happened to be before (I added that I thought he could have possibly cheated on me whilst I was away) and she examined me then turned to me and said 'I think he's given you herpes' and I won't lie I sobbed like crazy. She put me on medication and the sores and blisters have started to heal and I'm in no pain at all. Also, she gave me medication for a bladder infection as she took a sample of my urine.  I went and spoke to my partner (or ex as I should say now) that night and I tried to explain to him how I didn't understand where this had came from and I told him he was the only person I had been with and I hadn't cheated on him etc. He pleaded his innocence with me too and told me he hadn't done anything behind my back (but also said he didn't trust me when I was away which to me gives him a motive to do something behind my back) and he told me he hadn't had any symptoms at all. He may not have had any visual symptoms (but for all I know he could be lying?) but he often told me he felt ill, achy, sick, and never knew why. They are symptoms aren't they? He also told me he was going to go and get tested after I told him about my diagnosis and that he would tell me how it goes, but he never did. I haven't heard anything from him since. He hasn't even bothered to ask if I'm okay.  He's buried his head in the sand. Strikes me as guilty conscious. I could be wrong  but I don't feel I am.  Although this isn't really relevant, the relationship we had was toxic, on his part anyway. He was very controlling, selfish, arrogant, manipulative, always picked arguments with me and told me everything was my fault. Told me I wasn't good enough, told me about all these other girls he could be with but he was with me (like I was supposed to be grateful he was with me?)  and he lied about no end of stupid things. Threatened to leave me if we ever argued again, insulted me when I would say something he didn't like. He was emotionally and mentally abusive.  But back to the Herpes. What I can't get my head round is whether he could've had it the whole time and it was laying dormant in him, and I eventually had an outbreak triggered by sleeping with him again on top of the emotional and mental stress he put me under, or whether during my holiday or the time he decided to stop talking to me out the blue, he messed around with someone and caught it then, and then passed it on to me and I had an outbreak straight away? He is telling me he has no symptoms, but he could be a carrier couldn't he? Or he is lying because he has in fact done something behind my back and just simply won't own up to it. His behavior doesn't make sense. If he was adamant he hadn't done anything or didn't have it he would be kicking off at me for accusing him of something like this, but instead he has stayed very quite and just pleaded innocence. I know he has a temper on him so this behavior doesn't add up to me. I may be over thinking things but I can't help it. All I know is, I have now been diagnosed with herpes, and nothing like this i.e the bladder infections, the symptoms and flare ups have happened to me until I was with him. He doesn't seem to understand the seriousness of this. Is it likely he passed it on to me and is a carrier of it? He has told me he has been to the doctors and he is clear, but I think he's lying. I think he has it and won't admit it, or he hasn't been to the doctors at all. If he has though he couldn't get tested for it if he isn't showing symptoms could he? Would it come up in a blood test?  I really can't understand this and it's driving me crazy. Any insight or information from anyone would be very much appreciated! 
    • K_Sock
      @Prettypony How are things going on this?..
  • Featured