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I'm really freaking out....


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Hi everyone--I just found out 2/03/04 that I have Herpes. I don't even know what to say right now. I'm really just looking for a friend to talk to about it. I think it is emotionally worse than the physical aspects. I feel like now my man--whom I've been with for 9 years, won't want me anymore. Even though I told him about it as soon as I found out and he was so wonderful and supportive. I just feel like now when we make love it will always be in the back of his mind and grossing him out. I can't stop crying, I'm at work right now and I can't even concentrate. Somebody, if your out there--I could use an understanding ear and a friend to let me know that it will be alright. I refuse to let this get me but right now it is so fresh in my mind I can't help but cry. :(

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I just feel like now when we make love it will always be in the back of his mind and grossing him out.

nah... It won't... When you love someone you overlook stuff like that. You will be ok with it soon.. Just takes a little time to accept.

You have to know that you are so many things to him that HSV doesn't diminish. If you guys have been together for 9 years, you are his friend, confidant, companion, partner.... You are still all of those things. You still know him better then anyone else. You know what he likes, what drives him nuts, you understand him... You are there for him... That's why he loves you... You are STILL all of those things to him that you have always been. Nothing has changed

I can't stop crying, I'm at work right now and I can't even concentrate.

Its to be expected. Just take a deep breath and accept that you feel what you do... You have a supportive partner, I know this is really fresh in your mind right now, but things will be fine.

If it helps, are there any other thoughts/scenario's that you have in your head that make you upset? Tell us about it, We've all been there, and we could put some of those fears/worries behind you, because there is NOTHING about HSV that will keep you from being happy and having everything you want in life!



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Hey LG -

If it makes you feel any better I've been crying at work all day.... just not for the same reasons..... you are literally not alone.

9 years. Boy, I have a feeling he will totally support you. I remember feeling exactly the same way - checking myself with a mirror before and after.... only for my boyfriend to tell me to stop obsessing. He accepted me totally and in time I almost forgot about it - until I had an outbreak, then I spoiled him for wanting me anyway! That total acceptance kept me with him, even though it wasn't a healthy relationship for completely unrelated reasons. We broke up, and if you have read any of my recent posts you know I met someone new. The x keeps in contact with me - it's very complicated, but I am in the process of writing him a goodbye letter as we speak. Hence the tears. He was there for me when no one else was. And today I have to cut him off from me. How do I do that?

It will not be Leo (I assume) to worrry. Be prepared. It will be you. And occasionally, sometimes during the month when you don't feel so great and paranoia sinks in.... it kills me...even now the paranoia. As you get used to your body's signs it will be so much easier I promise. You know how they say time heals all wounds? This is one where it applies. I promise you it gets easier. It does not change who you are - only how you feel occasionally.

The bottom line is that he still wants you and loves you. Who could ask for more? Appreciate that. Talk to him about your concerns, let him help you - sounds like you have a great partner.

Best wishes - let's stop crying now - OK?

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Guest Anonymous



Ive been on several times now.....can't seem to kick my depression....it seems like everyday I wake up with a new problem. This morning I felt a bump at the sm of my back..........I can't see it, but it freaks me out....and my husband won't be home till later tonite.........

So I get into this depression, having a tough time caring for my baby...scared......Iam sick of this!!!!!

I want to be free again.....I live everyday petrified that I will hurt my husband and son sooner or later. I need to find someone in Weschester to talk to...cry to....my friends are buisy, can't really relate, and why should they. I think being alone may have been easier than this emotional roller coaster, because I don't even enjoy my husband, I sit there like a lump.

After 17yrs I still cannot come to grips......I feel like a petri dish.

I wan to write to Lasmam about parenting, can you tell me when you sign up what do they mean by password??? Is that to my computor...and E-Mail????

I would like to talk to someone someday...does anyone talk?


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Me??? where are you?? I know I said I'd be here, and as a mom you know I have to pick up my daughter in 40 minutes or so. But I'd prefer to not leave the address up, so write me soon - OK????

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OK Me -

Here it is straight up -

If you are freaking out this bad you need help now. I want you to get off the computer and call your OB/gyn and tell them you need to see someone immediately and tell them what you just told us - print it and bring it in if you have to. I mean it.

How old is the baby? Is it possible you may have post pardum depression on top of the HSV anxiety? Post pardum is REAL. Be honest with yourself sweetheart, OK. You obviously love the baby and your husband enough to search for help here. Applaude yourself for that step.

If you are home alone with that baby all day you need a break - go outside - take a walk - get a 10 year old or elderly neighbor to watch him for 30 min so you can go for a wlk - the store - take a shower - but get out!! Don't make yourself a prisoner! You will hate your husband and son for it - no matter how much you love them

Your husband can't make you feel good until you are able to - you will get through this - maybe a mild anti-anxiety can help you. I was on Lexapro for a while - do what you can to make yourself better!

Now send me an email, but only AFTER you call your doc - do it now!!! I will keep looking for you. I'm sure Faith may be by, Lovely and Pilot if I'm not here immediately - lot's of friends who understand baby - first step - call the Doc, settle down, kiss the baby - unconditional love... drink it in - let it carry you.

I will be here as much as possible. E mail me your number and I WILL CALL YOU. I promise.


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      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
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