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devestation

Guest Anonymous

By Guest Anonymous,
in Personal Experience with Herpes

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Guest Anonymous

Guest Anonymous

Posted
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:( I don't know what to do. I am so sad and so devestated by this virus that I don't want to go on but I have 3 little boys counting on me so I know I have to. I know you all say it gets easier but I have yet to find that to be true. I'm so lost.
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Richard Established Member

Richard

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Michelle is such a pretty name... I think when I have kids I might name my little girl Michelle, that or Diana... Hang in there... My dad tells me life is one big battle, one fight after another... It will get easier as time passes...

Rich

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Lasmom Acknowledged Support Member

Lasmom

Posted
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Michelle is such a pretty name... I think when I have kids I might name my little girl Michelle, that or Diana... Hang in there... My dad tells me life is one big battle, one fight after another... It will get easier as time passes...

Rich

Rich - that was awesome.

Michelle - my daughters middle name! and my best friends!!

I hear you - found out when my daughter was 2 - you quoted me - "counting on me"

Focus on those boys, get some time in for yourself, get some support somewhere - friends, family, us - it does get easier - I promise.

Best wishes from one mom to another....

Lasmom

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MC37 Pilot Established Member

MC37 Pilot

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Michelle - my daughters middle name! and my best friends!!

I dated a girl named michelle, does that count? :wink:

Michelle,

How long have you known? Did you just find out? Are you having problems with outbreaks, or just the emotional stuff?

write back soon,

nik

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Guest Anonymous

Guest Anonymous

Posted
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Stay strong!

I am not sure how bad your situation is, but I don't think it's worth doing something "Crazy" over... or something you are going to regret later on.

You probably feel horrible for this virus ( i do too sometimes), but it is not the end of the world...... >> if you don't make it out to be

Speaking from a 22year old point of view... which may mean nothing... since we are opposite sex, age, etc... But i see it this way

From reading your Post.. I got a feeling you feel devastated about this situation... maybe its b/c this virus is NEW to you, and you don't kno how to deal with it. Which makes sense. Which I can understand. I too hate it. But it ain't worth doing stupid Sh!t over.

The way i see it.... YOU have people Depending on you... like you said.

When it comes to children, I think they should always keep their innocence, or at least as long as they can. Don't do anything you will regret later on... but better yet... don't do anything that would jeapordize your little one's happiness... cause inturn... you shape their happiness in their life & their loved ones in their future.

I am sure they need you, and I am sure they too would be DEVASTATED without you. Probably more then you are now. Even though they may not say it ( cause I feel I don't say it enough) But without my mother I would be lost. If I lost my mother... I think I would trade anything ( 100 herpes) to have her in my life. Some medication/ ointment will take care of it... but once ONE (life) is gone.... its gone FOREVER.... There is a thin line between it.... You can't take it back... and NO oinment or medication can ever fix that.

I am sure your little ones would take 100 times what you have... then to lose their mother... You would lose so much more then the virus... AND they would lose even MORE.... not having someone to love them. AND you not seeing them grow up. ( that would be the worst that could happen)

Ain't nothing oinment can't take care of... as of yet, right? don't let a "small" thing escalate to something bigger... You may think there is an easy way out... but trust me... the worst thing to do is that... Your children will love you forever, I promise that, as long as you are good to them and genuine to them... and bring them up to be good PEOPLE there is no reason why they wouldn't love You.

Take a deep breath... have a drink to relax if you have too.. take a breath and deal with it.... eat healthy, see the doctor, smile and things will get better.

I am sure someone who has a worser disease ... would trade to have (herpes) then to have what they have... and I am sure there are even more people suffering worse then we are now.. people killing themselves, strapping bombs and losing families...

Its nothing Ointment or medication can't take care of... take a deep breath and put things in your life into perspective.. you will see THAT THINGS COULD BE WORSE.

and doing something "crazy" would be WORSE then it already is... People are depending on you... and you have so much more things in life to make you happier....

Your children for one.... Wait till they are more grown up, and they become wiser and more sensitive, then you will actually realize how important your life is to the BOTH of you.

I am 22 years old living with the same thing as you have, You are 33 and only getting it now... there is noting ointment can't take care of.

Take a breath.. have a drink... get your mind straight... and take care of your loved ones, while you can.... Don't do anything crazy....

its a thin line.

Hope this helps......

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Guest Anonymous

Guest Anonymous

Posted
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Hi Michelle-seems like you have a pretty popular name :p

Sometimes you have to put herpes in perspective. When I see other peoples situations and realize how fortunate I am, I too would take "100

herpes" to take away their pain. For example I have a close relative who has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer, a longtime friend has just confessed to me that she's been a victim of domestic violence for the past 10 yrs and how can I forget the 11 yr old recently abducted and killed in Sarasota Florida. Hell I'd tack on another 10 yrs of herpes ( to my 1 yr) if I could just reverse these situations. And yes herpes sucks-I'd like to scream it at the top of my lungs, but it's nothing more than an annoying virus, a stinkin' little coldsore on my crotch that will disappear within 3 days when I break out my big ol' bottle of Valtrex. So yes gimmee "100 herpes" in exchange for other peoples' happiness. Good luck & God bless it takes some time but you too will heal :)

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christi Honeycomb Member

christi

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You are not alone in feeling that way!

Hi Michelle,

My name is Christi and I am a 29 yo Aussie girl and I have been living with herpes for the last five years. I am not even going to start to tell you not to feel as devestated as you do but that it will pass. When I was diagnosed I was crushed. My eyes were swollen into slits from crying and every word that cursed through my brain started with 'h' and ended with 's'. I was practically catatonic. I did things like scan public places and try to guess who else in the crowd had what I did, oh the anguish. BUT after a few weeks my brain started to tire of it all and I started to spend less time dwelling and more time getting on with things. Trust me the human brain is an amazing thing and will naturally self limit your anguish.

Actually it was my twin sister who really helped me to snap out of my spiralling depression and pull my self together when she said "Christi! Who do you think you are to say that herpes is the only reason no guy will ever want you? You've been dumped plenty of times before herpes even became an issue and in the trial and error of dating you'll probably get the brush off a couple of more times before you even get to the stage of having to tell them you've got herpes!" Harsh words....but so true! It actually really helped me to start putting things into perspective.

Sure having herpes and telling a guy may speed up the process of getting the brush off but I can promise you from experience the genuine guys WILL NOT RUN! Having herpes is actually a neat tool in sorting the potential of a relationship!

Michelle, I hope this has helped, I so sympathise with what you are going through. I diagnosis of herpes affects us all in varying degrees and what you are going through is part of a process. If there was anything that I could think of to say that would make it easier for you I'd be the first to blurt it all out. There is not enough room to write all that I'd like to but I've had a lot of practice at this herpes stuff in the last five years so if you need someone to talk to please feel free to email me at christilee50@hotmail.com . I hope this has helped.

Christi

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christi Honeycomb Member

christi

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Hello again,

Michelle I forgot to add something that is probably important. I noticed that someone wrote in a reply about putting this little skin condition into perspective in comparison to the terrible traumas that others suffer such as a diagnosis of terminal illness, personal bereavement and world catstrophes. They are right but when I was first diagnosed I not only felt devastated at being told I had herpes but I beat myself up with guilt for feeling as bad as I did for feeling sorry for myself over it when there are worse things happening to others. How complex! I hated myself for getting herpes and I hated myself even more for being upset over it!!

Please you are allowed to feel the way you do! My brother committed suicide shortly after I was diagnosed and sure I would get herpes 100 times over just to have one more day with him BUT the devastation we feel when we are first told we have herpes is a different thing, a very personal thing (to do with our own self-esteem and self image). The devastation we feel is because we are affected by the terrible stigma herpes carries which we direct at ourselves as a person. That we are grubby, people will look down on us, only bed-hoppers get it etc etc etc. Please don't add guilt to your self beating!!

Christi. P.S

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