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graceaz

How do I show my husband support...

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graceaz

My husband might have hsv2, we're still waiting for his results. We have been having problems for a few months now and the marriage has been rocky. He cheated on me yrs ago and we never really made a full recovery from that. Now he has been staying out and says he's not cheating. I am scared and confused of what is going to happen. We've been married 16 yrs now and have 4 children. I had been hoping before this that we would work things out and get our lives back together and now with this it feels like he will just run and hide because of the guilt. How do I give him support when he won't listen to me and if he has had it since then does that mean that I should have it to? I've never had any symptoms. I am scared and I don't want to say the wrong thing. I am really angry with him because I feel that it is his fault for putting us in this situation. I wonder now if he feels it was really worth it in the long run. He might be infected and might have gotten me infected too. Even with all that anger, I still love him and don't want to leave him alone through this, although I feel he has decided to leave already. He called me various times yesterday but I wouldn't answer his calls and never returned them, cuz I don't know what to say and I wouldn't have any moral support for him with all of my confusion. Someone please help!!

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MsLucy

The worst thing about not communicating during times of stress or trouble is that it leaves the field wide open for our imaginations to conjure up worst case scenarios. Most of time what we imagine is far worse than reality, but without verbal or physical reassurance, what is there to prevent us from believing the bad things in our minds? Nothing.

Unless you talk to your husband, he's not going to know that you want to stay together, or that you want to support him, or that you still love him. He's probably feeling guilty, as you suspect, probably thinks you're angry, and maybe thinks you can't/won't forgive him for this.

If you really do want to keep your marriage together, and you believe your husband wants the same thing, it has to start with communication with each other about what you each want from the relationship, and a commitment from both of you to try to work towards that goal. And one of you has to initiate that conversation. Why not you? I know it's difficult, and you're going to have to have some hard-to-get-it-out, and hard-to-hear-it talks before it's all said and done, but if you both want the same thing, it will be worth the effort. At the very least, you'll both know what the other is thinking, and where each of you stands. That's a start.

Good luck. I hope things work out for you.

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moviestar

Help

If you husband thinks he has the herpes virus, it sounds to me like he has been cheating on you again and it if that was me , his butt would have been out of the door after the first time he did it because once a man cheats on you he wont stop, They say they will but they dont, believe me I sadly know from experience. Pray to God to help you get thru this if you want to try and make your marriage work and ask god to help you find away to make your husband be faithful to you. Good luck and may God bless you and your family immensely.

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coalminer

moviestar needs compassion

moviestar, you are the one who has been with your boyfriend for 5 years, planning on getting married, and never told him that you have H. Now you are telling this person to "kick out" their spouse because of H. You are going to desperately need loving compassion in your relationship if it is to have a ghost of a chance at survival because you have been living a lie for 5 years. What you need, you should be willing to give others. H is no reason to destroy a marriage. And if approached right and everyone's head is in the right place, even infidelity can be overcome and the relationship will be many times better than it was originally.

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