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Bettyb

How did this happen to me?

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Bettyb

Someone please explain this to me. How long can this "lie" dormant in your body? I've been told years I've been dating a guy since August and after a few months we stopped using condoms. As far as I know he has been monogamous (but not truly sure) but he did "mess" around alot. I had been married for 13 years and when we split, I had "safe sex" with 4 guys before this boyfriend. I had my first outbreak last Monday. He got tested and came back positive for just hsv1. Could I possibly have gotten this years ago and it just never came out til now?

I'm so confused and lost.

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Lifeislife

It's true that some people are carrying the virus for years before showing symptoms. Other times, an outbreak appears within 12 days of being exposed to it by another.

Are you saying he got a blood test and it came up HSV-1 and the both of you are assuming it means he has cold sores? Or have you seen that he has cold sores?

The reality is that HSV-1 and 2 can be swapped between both locations, though each has a "preferred" location. I was infected with HSV-1 genital to genital. (HSV-1 prefers oral). Others have gotten genital type 1 from their partner giving them oral.

Have you gone to the doc yet? It is my understanding that there are blood tests that can test the level of your antibodies to get an idea as to whether it is new in your system or been there a while. Perhaps both of you could get this test? Ask your doctors. Not sure if a week after the outbreak is too late. Others know more about this part of it than I do.

This will help narrow down the "who infected who", though if he was prone to "messing around" that would bring things into question for me. To me, monogamy is not just about only "penetrating" one person....messing around kind of goes against the concept in my view. I find it hard to imagine a person could "mess around" but not sleep with not even a single other person.

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Bettyb

The thing that bothers me is - I was with my husband for 13 years. When we split, I had sex with maybe 4 guys all with condoms. Now I meet this guy, after a few months, start having condomless sex and then this happens.

He got a blood test for both and the results were HSV-1 >5.00H EIA value (?) He did say when he was about 13 that he had a mouth full of blisters but never after that. He first went for an HIV test (why I don't know) and he showed the nurse "the bumps on my penis" and she said they were just bumps but did a culture anyway. Don't know what the results of that was - I'll find out.

I was told that it is less likely that HSV-1 would manifest itself "down there". To be honest, I am so torn and don't know what to believe. If you got HSV-1 genital to genital, does that mean someone gave him oral and he got it? Can you get it without signs of shedding or outbreak on the other person?

I went to the dr. and the minute she looked at me she said I had Herpes. I will find out about the blood test you mentioned. I haven't gotten my results yet to see which one I have. I should be getting that on Tuesday.

He had his share of messing around prior to us being together. I also think that he was in the beginning, but became monogamous. But he was getting a lot (from what he says) prior to us meeting.

I guess I have to wait and see what my results are and take it from there. I feel so dead inside, this is so difficult.

Thank you so much for your help. I'll let you know what the results are.

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Lifeislife
I was told that it is less likely that HSV-1 would manifest itself "down there". To be honest, I am so torn and don't know what to believe. If you got HSV-1 genital to genital, does that mean someone gave him oral and he got it?

It is less likely to manifest, but certainly not uncommon. He could have gotten it from someone giving him oral who had coldsores or someone who had it genitally.

Can you get it without signs of shedding or outbreak on the other person?

Yes. Additionally, when people say they were exposed when their partner was not showing symptoms...that's tricky business. After I found out I had it, my partner and I looked him over carefully and found that he did in fact have a sore, but it was about the size of the tip of a sharpened pencil. Never would have noticed without searching for it under bright light.

It stands to reason that if you were always safe before and then weren't, then started showing symptoms, that you possibly did catch it from him. However, this is NOT certain.

Try not to let this bring you too far down. It makes for a difficult climb back up. Things will be alright. It could have been worse. There are other things out there that can be fatal.

This is a skin irritation. An annoyance. An uncomfortable topic to bring up in future relationships. Look at it for what it is. Nothing more.

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