Your experiences please!

[christi]

Hello Everyone,

What a fantastic site this is that I stumbled across by accident. You all sound like such lovely, genuine people! I am Christi, I am 29, live in Brisbane, Australia and have been living with herpes for around 5 years now. I wrote my story for Cosmo magazine a couple of years ago and have helped in the 'putting together' of another article for another mag. I am a talented writer and I believe we need more so now I'm writing a book about herpes and relationships. Ahem, (they say we learn from our mistakes, well I think I've made them all!) I want my book to be educational, readable, realistic, up-to-date and upbeat, full of good useful advice and most of all easily obtainable. Actually no, most of all I want it to be weapon against the harderst thing that we struggle with, the stigma! (The sort of book you wish someone had have given you when you were first diagnosed!)

I would love to hear from everyone (if possible) about your experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly. I want to know how you felt, how you coped or didn't cope. How you've told others and the successes and failures in dating, sex, love, all of it. I'd like to know why do you feel herpes has such a stigma and even if you have been guilty of believing that stigma before you were diagnosed (OK, yes I was guilty of it now that we're all being honest, guess it's called Karma!). Anything else you can think of no matter how small will help. If herpes is no big deal to you I would love to hear about that too, we're all different and handle things in different ways.

I would also love to hear from partner of those who have herpes who don't have herpes themselves, what you knew of herpes before you met the love of your life, what you thought when they told you, your fears, how they told you and what you did with that information and what you feel about the stigma etc. Of course I'd love to know what you would like to see in the book for those in your situation also.

Don't forget to tell me if there is anything specific you would like to me to cover in the book. Of course confidentiality is of utmost importance and you do not need to identify yourself. Anything you can contribute will be gratefully accepted.

Funny anecdotes would be useful too! OK, I'll start by telling you one of mine: I was at a crowded bar with friends having a great night when I was approached by a guy (a friend of a friend) who asked me on a date followed by 'but is it true that you have herpes, your flatmate told me you had herpes'. Groan, I nearly died. I wasn't interested in going on a date with him and while trying to hold it together, graciously declined and subtly added, "by the way about the herpes thing, that's the first I've heard of it besides that's an old joke, herpes is as common as a cold these days, oh, and my flatmate told me you had it!" I then followed it up with "it doesn't make any difference to me if you do have herpes it wouldn't stop me going out with you, I'm just not interested in dating right now" He didn't bring it up again, I left the bar and went home before my red face gave me away....and funny enough my flatmate moved out the next day!

Last but not least I am determined to use my talent in helping others who are affected by herpes. I believe that the experience of having herpes in one way or another actually brings out the best in a person and this is my way of contributing. It's a bit of a crusade but most importantly I want this book to be for everyone which is why your contributions are so important to me...otherwise it'll be all about my experiences and I don't want to put anyone to sleep by rambling on all about myself!!!

Thank-you in advance of your overwhelming response! I can be contacted at christilee50@hotmail.com .

[Lasmom]

Hey Christi!

Welcome to the site! Where can we read the COsmo article? Do you have it? Can you post it? I'm gearing up to do a lecture at my college for the female students - mainly about self defense and "smart city behavior" - and one of many of my experiences I plan to tell is the Herpes thing... I don't think I knew about it in college - and I thought I knew everything!!!!

Nice to hear from you - a wonderful addition from down under!

Lasmom

[christi]

I can supply a copy.

Hi there,

Thanks for your welcome! This is such a great site! That's great that you are thinking of talking about herpes to your class! I can certainly send you a copy of my Cosmo story, it was published in the August 2002 issue of Australian Cosmopolitan Magazine. It'll probably be easier for me to post you a copy rather than you trying to track down an issue an of the magazine so if you send me a private message or email me at Christilee50@hotmail.com I can either post a copy or I'll even transcribe it in an email if you prefer. Same for anyone else who would like to read it. This particular story is my personal account of my experience of 'getting' herpes.

Also, just note for everyone: If you feel you are able to write your story in an easy to read way do it, send it off to a magazine, any magazine, (you can use an alias) and they may just publish it! The more we get our stories out there the better. P.S My story was accepted as the first and final draft and I got a nice fat cheque for the privilige (which I did not expect!).... and got a few sheepish emails from magazine editors and journalists who admitted to me that they had herpes also!

P.S. I wrote a response to Amelie who wants to write to Seventeen magazine with her story if you want some handy hints

Cheers, Christi.

[Lasmom]

Hey Christi - just so you know - my experiences and stories are all over this site.... I think for me, I don't want to go there again... and not alot of time here, but feel free to check out my posts if you like....

Lasmom

[christi]

Permission to 'pilfer'?

Thanks Lasmon,

You brought up a good point actually, this sight is full of great stories, comments and opinions that I could use for my book. I just want to be sure that I have consent to 'pilfer' the odd 'quote' or reference from member's contributions. Please if anyone doesn't want me drawing from the content of their messages just let me know and I will honour your request. Again if anyone wants to contribute more specifically just let me know also.

P.S. This book is for everyone in our situation so please feel free to offer your opinion/criticisms, anything so can I tailor it for use in 'real life'.

Thanks, Christi.