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Pescado

What now?

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Pescado

Hi I just signed up. I've had cold sores that appear on my upper lip for years. For the longest time I thought they were pimples because I also suffer from sever acne.

I found out that I have type 1 Herpes last year after a girl I was going out with asked me to get checked. She asked because she started developing cold sores shortly after we started going out. When I found out I had was infected it just broke my spirit. I have never felt so down not only am I infected but I infected her too. We broke up shortly after this and I'm sure it was because she resented me for it and I didn't blame her.

I haven't been the same since I feel depressed all the time I live in constant fear of my next outbreak. Its affected my job, my social life and pretty much every other part of my life. I was already self conscience about my acne but at least I that wasn't contagious but now I have to deal with this too. I don't know how am I going to ever meet anyone now.

I know there are people in the world who have it much worse than me and I have no right feeling sorry for myself over something like this but I just can't get past it. What can I do and where do I start.

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rocky1313

Hi Pescado,

I really think you are being too hard on yourself. You didn't intentionally infect her. Given the stats on how common cold sores are, it could have easily been someone else that gave it to her.

I don't know about type 1 herpes, but with me (genital herpes), the outbreaks have lessened over the years (had it for ten years) and maybe the same will happen with your cold sores. At least you know what it is now and how to deal with it. When you meet the right person, they will understand and work with you to avoid becoming infected. And if they do accidently become infected, really it's not the end of the world. It's not like it's a death sentence.

The herpes doesn't define who you are as a person. It's just a little annoyance that has to be dealt with in a relationship but you can absolutely have a healthy, full relationship with or without the sores!

Good luck to you. I hope you can gain some hope soon. Keep reading these boards; they seem to be encouraging as far as reading about couples who seem to function fine with one or both people infected.

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Lifeislife

I am sorry this caused you and your girl to split. It kind of surprises me, seeing as how much the general population downplays coldsores.

Do not fear for the future. There are a tremendous amount of stories about how things turned out just fine. I have genital HSV-1 and I would much rather have "coldsores", but you have every right to feel the way you feel. No one would fault you for it. A person's pain is only relative to that person.

Realize that with coldsores, things will be easier in every aspect than if you had it down South. If myself and many others are able to have lasting, successful relationships, trust that you can as well. It's all about confidence and honesty.

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sadgirl90

Hope

Well I felt the same way at the beginning when I didn't know what it was and didn't feel that I could live with this horrible disease especially when it hurts so much but day by day I started realizing that it is not so bad and that other people have worse things. It is bad but you have to learn how to manage it. I don't have anyone either as a partner right now and I am not thinking ahead to whenever I find someone if they will accept me the way I am but I figure that I have to accept myself first. I didn't ask for this, didn't want it but here it is and I just have to live my life. My counselor asks me, is it life threatening? No. Will it go away? Yes. Not forever but it does go to sleep for a while. Even cold sores don't last forever. We just have to take it one day at a time and hope for the best.

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Pescado

thanks so much for the replies. Maybe my first post was a little too dramatic. I'm just in a foul mood since I've had 3 cold sores appear on my face this last week and it just got to me. My doctor tells me that its normal but I seem to be very prone to break outs. It seems to happen to me much more often than it should.

again thanks for the replies it was good just getting all that off my chest.

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