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anonymous=(

In a dazed state.

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anonymous=(

For this first time in my life, I'm going to be completely honest.

I'm 20 years old and yesterday was tested for herpes. I don't know much about what is going on because I couldn't ask any questions, I just cried. My test results come back sometime this week, and I don't even want to answer the phone, even though I know it can't be anything else besides herpes. I have one terribly sore ulcer and then 6 maybe 7 smaller sores, that's probably a lot, huh? I have no idea. I feel like I'm falling apart.

Here's my story from the start.

I was 14 or 15 the first time I ever did anything with a guy, he has probably had cold sores, but I mean...it's been 6 years?? After that boyfriend I had a serious one (as serious as it can be at 15) I lost my virginity to him and he lost his to me...no problems there, after that I was a little wild something may have happened there. Then I met the most amazing guy ever. My current boyfriend. I was 16 and he was 21 but it was right. He's so great, I can't even explain. After two years of dating, once I graduated, I moved in with him and then about a year later I started to freak out, and I cheated on him. We were "on a break" cause i was so scared, being 19 living with my boyfriend, I dunno, sleeping with him the rest of my life. (I'm the only person he's slept with) Well, now, here we are almost a year after that incident and I'm doing it again, minus the cheating part. I moved in with my friend for a about a week. Well, we had sex Wednesday and that day I noticed it was burning when I used the bathroom. The next day I looked at my sore spot, and it looked like a really bad ingrown hair. The next day I had a lot more spots, so finally I had him look at it, we were both pretty worried. I broke down crying...I can't handle having herpes. He was for sure that it isn't herpes, but I knew that it was. So I went to the doctor Monday and got tested, the doc. said that it's more than likely herpes and I just got my medicine today. I was worried that maybe he cheated on me while we were broken up this past week...but I know that he didn't..he loves me too much....I keep leaving him, for no reason, and he keeps taking me back. And now that I've more than likely given him herpes because I slept around, he's still willing to stay with me.

So here I am, taking herpes meds, I cry at random times cause I think about how my life is changing. I want support, but I too scared to tell anyone. I'm scared of losing my boyfriend, I want to be able to have sex with him. I mean, will we be able to even have oral sex? I don't want our sex life to change...man, I'm crying again.

I feel so dirty. I don't know what to do.

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catiesmom

You're going to give yourself a worse outbreak unless you calm down. I know it's hard to be diagnosed, but it sounds like you've got a guy who really cares about you, so you're one step ahead of most of us. Perhaps instead of concentrating on what you DON'T have, you could concentrate on what you DO have?

I know the diagnosis is hard, and coming to terms with the way your life will change (albeit small changes) is something you have to give yourself time for. Allow yourself to cry, to mourn the change, and to get used to yourself again. But get used to yourself! This doesn't change who you are, it doesn't change what you've done or what you can do, and it obviously didn't change your boyfriend's love for you. You can and you WILL get through the diagnosis, educate yourself about prevention methods, and enjoy a FULL sex life with your boyfriend.

Right now, you should concentrate on coming to terms with this, controlling your outbreaks, and getting your boyfriend tested. If he has it, your sex life just got easier. If he doesn't, you'll need to know what precautions to take to try to avoid passing it.

Good luck! It's not easy to get a grip, but it's necessary and we've all done it - you can too!!

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anonymous=(

Thank you, I really need help calming down. I still find myself bursting into tears randomly, and you're right...I think my ob is gettin worse, I'm still stressing out so bad.

I have another question I need help with. I've missed my last period (adding more stress, I dunno if I can handle being pregnant too), could having herpes make me skip my period, I'm sure that's a dumb question.

I've taken probably 4, if not more, pregnancy tests, and they've all said no. I'm just wondering if maybe this is throwing off the results. Sorry if that's stupid.

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catiesmom

It's certainly not stupid! There are no stupid questions around here.

I have never heard of HSV affecting periods or affecting pregnancy test results. The two just don't inhabit the same area (except the skin on the outside). It's very unlikely your period issues are caused by HSV.

However, it's certainly possible your excessive anguish has caused a delay in your period. It's also possible that if you're upset and therefore not eating, that could cause it as well. When did you first start stressing over HSV, and when were you supposed to get your period?

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anonymous=(

I was supposed to start my period the last week in march, I ran out of birthcontrol in February, then last wednesday I started seeing the signs of herpes, so about a week I've been stressing out. I started stressing because I broke up with my boyfriend, and also because my period was late. Then to add more onto my plate, sores popped up. And here I am. No period, herpes, but back with my boyfriend....still stressing out. I can barely walk...I don't know what to do. I'm about to try the baking soda remedy, but I really am lost.

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catiesmom

So your period was a week late before you even got HSV. I'm gonna go with no, HSV didn't affect your cycle.

You might consider going to a planned parenthood for a better pregnancy test. When i did mine with Catie, the home test was barely anything, but the pee test at planned parenthood was clear! It might put your mind at ease, anyway.

Try baking soda, epsum salt, peroxide.. .whatever you can. Get through this one before you stress over any more. This would appear to be your most pressing issue right now.

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anonymous=(

I did the salt bath last night, but I was worried the whole time...wondering if being in the water would just make sores pop up all over my body...that's not possible is it?

for the baking soda, I just use clean cotton balls and wet them, and put the baking soad on the sores, and just leave it there?

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catiesmom

I haven't actually used baking soda - maybe someone else can help, or maybe you can find it in one of the threads here.

As for the bath, the general idea is by the time the virus gets into the water, it's so diluted that it has little chance of effectively attacking your skin somewhere. And the soap you use in the tub will help kill it, so baths are pretty safe. I think i'd avoid taking a bath with a full-on outbreak while my unaffected child was in it, but other than that, you should be ok.

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