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Lifeislife

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Lifeislife

While I am delighted at being with a new guy who is like a dream come true, I had been sweating about the fears of transmitting the virus to him. However, I believe that people should be able to make educated decisions for themselves.

I have Genital HSV-1 (the strain that usually prefers oral location)

My new guy and I have not had "sex" yet, but have fooled around rather intensely. He made the educated choice to perform oral on me. I was a little unsure about this...but I think our relationship is "the one" and I allowed it. I have no outbreaks aside of one and some tinglies in three years. It just sucks that I have to overcome internal conflict about his decision.

Low and behold...a day after one of our uh..activities, I had an outbreak. Did not realize it was an outbreak. So I was watching and waiting for him to have symptoms. I did tell him about it. The symptoms never came?

That is when it occurred to me to ask him, "Babe? Have you ever had coldsores?". Neither of us had even thought of it. He knew that coldsores were herpes symplex virus 1. But he also thought you only got them on your lips, not in your mouth. As it turns out, he has had sores on his gums that come and go for years.

We are going to have him get blood work to confirm what we are already pretty certain of. It would mean that he could not catch coldsores from performing oral because he already has it there. It would also mean that because he had had the virus for so long, his immunity level would be much higher than someone never exposed and the chances of him catching it genitally are much less.

So my advice, is to ASK your partner after you have had "the talk" if they have ever been exposed to the virus. Whether coldsores or finding out a year down the road that one of their x's was recently diagnosed with HSV (because she/he could have had it when they were dating and not known). They might just remember Aunt May having cooties on her lips and thought nothing of it because they never showed symptoms.

While it would be dissappointing to learn your partner is also part of the club, it would also help you both sweat alot less about what the chances of transmission are if you educate yourself about the combinations and percentages of possibility.

Peace of mind is now an aphrodisiac for me.

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    • Quest
      No it won't go up forever, I know I have been infected for a long time. Some people in here have values in the 50s. it just gives you an idea of where those numbers can go from here. The more antibodies you have the better off you are and at least you know your immune system is building those antibodies. I hope you do really well!
    • WilsoInAus
      The number doesn’t matter very much in terms of your experience with herpes. Your immune system has 80 elements that address HSV and your experience is related to the combined effort of these 80 elements. I’d suggest this partner is very probably infected and has been for a while.
    • priorwalter
      Obviously zero percent transmission rates can't be assured with the combination of Pritevilir and Valtrex. But I think it's safe to assume based on what we know that their effects will be cumulative and they'll work better together than they would separately, since they're halting viral replication by different methods. Pritelivir inhibits the enzyme helicase, where Valtrex inhibits the enzyme polymerase. If it were the case, for example, that Pritelivir were also going after polymerase and did a better job of halting it than Valtrex, then we would just take Pritelivir by itself with no more need for Valtrex. But that's not the case. Since the approaches of halting replication are different, a "cocktail" of the two drugs is certain to be more effective than taking just one or the other.  More on how Valtrex and Pritelivir work here: https://www.acsh.org/news/2018/06/12/herpes-vaccines-dont-work-what-about-drugs-pritelivir-page-aids-playbook-13074
    • 35hope
      lyme disease can be sexually transmitted, keep us posted about it hope your tests are negative 
    • why4
      Yeah I'm pretty sure it's from him but I don't know why he would lie about being negative since we were still together and I said I was already positive. Maybe he was infected right before we met? Is higher the number better? How do the antibodies work over time? Will it continually go up forever? 
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