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Always Ask!

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While I am delighted at being with a new guy who is like a dream come true, I had been sweating about the fears of transmitting the virus to him. However, I believe that people should be able to make educated decisions for themselves.

I have Genital HSV-1 (the strain that usually prefers oral location)

My new guy and I have not had "sex" yet, but have fooled around rather intensely. He made the educated choice to perform oral on me. I was a little unsure about this...but I think our relationship is "the one" and I allowed it. I have no outbreaks aside of one and some tinglies in three years. It just sucks that I have to overcome internal conflict about his decision.

Low and behold...a day after one of our uh..activities, I had an outbreak. Did not realize it was an outbreak. So I was watching and waiting for him to have symptoms. I did tell him about it. The symptoms never came?

That is when it occurred to me to ask him, "Babe? Have you ever had coldsores?". Neither of us had even thought of it. He knew that coldsores were herpes symplex virus 1. But he also thought you only got them on your lips, not in your mouth. As it turns out, he has had sores on his gums that come and go for years.

We are going to have him get blood work to confirm what we are already pretty certain of. It would mean that he could not catch coldsores from performing oral because he already has it there. It would also mean that because he had had the virus for so long, his immunity level would be much higher than someone never exposed and the chances of him catching it genitally are much less.

So my advice, is to ASK your partner after you have had "the talk" if they have ever been exposed to the virus. Whether coldsores or finding out a year down the road that one of their x's was recently diagnosed with HSV (because she/he could have had it when they were dating and not known). They might just remember Aunt May having cooties on her lips and thought nothing of it because they never showed symptoms.

While it would be dissappointing to learn your partner is also part of the club, it would also help you both sweat alot less about what the chances of transmission are if you educate yourself about the combinations and percentages of possibility.

Peace of mind is now an aphrodisiac for me.

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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